I needed to write it, say it, get it out.
For myself. For you. Just start writing, let the words come out and bring the truth that wanted to express, even as my mind still worked to catch up.
Always working to reign me in.
Even as it pours out of me, the feeling, the action, the words.
My mind is still trying to make sense of it, still trying to decide if it's safe enough to put out there, to out words to, to even believe.
And my mind is good at that, back-pedalling like a mofo, when a soul thought dares to break through unexpectedly into consciousness. My mind is like, woah, woah, hold up, I wasn't ready for that. Ignore that thought, that wasn't me, just brush it aside, stuff it back where it came from.
But if you can protect it from the minds dousing water, let it bound around like a hot coal inside you until it lands on that tinder just waiting to ignite....breathe a little life into it.
And then watch the flames come to life in your body and soul. It'll spread faster than the mind can contain or subdue.
And that's a good thing.
Because it's the truth.
That thought you're ignoring.
That feeling you're trying quell.
That thing you're trying to convince yourself you don't really need to say, don't really need to do, don't really want after all....
Those are the ones that burn down your whole life if you let them.
We know it. Our minds know it, that's why it's panicking right now, say no, no, settle down, let's not get carried away. Safety first right.
But that burning ember being fanned into roaring flaming, burning through your life, could be exactly what you need.
There's nothing that cleanses and clears quite like the fire of truth straight from your soul. Nothing that so quickly makes way for the new growth laying dormant waiting for its time.
In nature and in your soul, some seeds need the intensity of fire before they will activate and grow.
So if you are letting your mind douse every true thought you have, every hot little desire, every real spark of wanting and inspiration - because it feels too dangerous, because you're afraid of what will burn to the ground...
Then you're stopping the very thing that will bring you what you want most.
And the longer you wait, the drier your life will get, the more shit that will need to be cleared... and you won't be able to keep dousing every spark before it catches. One day you'll really see it all burn! One way or another.
The truth from your soul will always be heard.
Why not let it out now?
Don't just wait for glimpses - when you dance, in the peak of sex, in the rush of a new idea. Do those too!! But don't stop there.
Don't push it down again. Don't let it go. Don't talk sense into yourself, whatever you do! You were never mean to play it safe.
Let yourself feel the fire of passion for once, no matter how it wants to be heard, in every area.
Strike the match yourself and light it up.
Say what you really think.
Feel what you really feel.
Don't settle for anything less than everything.
Than hell yes.
Than consuming love for every part of your life.
If you're not getting everything you want, where are you dousing your own fire with 'good enough', 'it'll do' and 'it's fine', 'that's not practical', 'I can't....'?
The forest flourishes with new growth after the flame.
You don't get pure gold without the refining fire.
Breathe life onto what you really want, and stop starving your fiery soul of oxygen.
No matter how hard your heart is beating right now, you know you need to. You need to listen to your soul.
It's trying to give you everything.
Transformative, honest, raw. 100 days of guided journalling.